Day by Day

I have been doing some soul searching these days. I know now, that I need to learn to live day by day. I have always looked to the past. I made so many mistakes, and have so many regrets, but I need to learn to let go. It's not easy. This may sound odd, but one regret I have is not getting away from my Parents years ago. It took me 45 years to break free from their control. I know Parents are supposed to have some control, but then there is too much. Plus, when you have one Parent who lies to you and can only talk to you when they drink, and another who steals and threatens from you, well that should be easy to just leave them. But, then you feel bad cause they are your blood, and they supposedly raised you and did everything for you. According to them, of course. With my soul searching, I've looked back over the years, and now I see all the signs. I was always treated differently than my Brother and Sister. I have yet to find out what I did wrong, maybe nothing. But I finally learned to let go, there is a lot more to it, of course, but not sure this is the place. Maybe someday I'll write a book about it.

But looking into the future all the time isn't good either. I mean, don't get me wrong, having dreams and goals is what we need. I know one of my dreams is to have a novel published. So, I'm currently working on one. My problem is having energy. With Anxiety/Depression, your body dictates to you what you need to do, not your mind or heart. It's always an uphill battle. That is why I think I need to learn to live day by day. If I don't worry about what might not happen, and what did happen, then maybe I can stop struggling all the time. It gets exhausting. I have a really good friend that always tells me I worry too much, and I know he's right, but it's hard not too. That's part of anxiety. Our heart tells us not too, but the mind doesn't want to cooperate. They always argue. It's exhausting too.

So how do you do it, do you go day by day? If so, I'd love to hear your tips. Feel free to comment below or in the Sanctuary section. I'm trying to make this place a safe community for us to discuss how we deal with Anxiety/Depression.

Sweet Dreams!